Of course you know – but just in case…

From serious social faux pas to hair don’ts – rules we should probably all know

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

Ever grimaced at a party when someone said something completely inappropriate? Or frowned at some woeful fashion sense?

Especially when that someone was you?

At Gustoker we are no experts at social niceties and certainly don’t lie awake worrying about what to wear to the office party tomorrow.

However we’re fairly confident these are some indisputable no nos.

Avoid them at all costs.

I’m a 40 year old man and I’m desperate

Photo by Taylor on Unsplash

Men over forty sporting either a ponytail or earring. Deciding to go with both is doubly worrying and downright inexcusable.

Why, what’s the problem?

You’re not 18 anymore, it’s over.

The ponytail is mistakenly seen as a symbol of wild, untamed youth. “You can’t control me – I’m a free spirit playing by my own rules!”

The sad fact is, sporting a ponytail has little to do with being a rebellious rock god. It’s not sexy or cool and borders on creepy.

If you have children they’re embarrassed. They mightn’t admit it but they are.

It’s not unlike your grandmother wearing a leopard print mini skirt.

Time to move on.

That’s nothing, listen to this!

Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

The story beater.

We all love hearing a good yarn or amusing anecdote. When the speaker has finished we chuckle, shake our heads or offer a comment. The speaker feels good about contributing something to the gathering and the mood is good.

Everyone with half an idea of social graces moves on to the next topic.

Even if we have a similar story that might even be more outrageous, we keep it to ourselves. Bring it up another time, kudos to the first speaker for livening things up.

What we don’t do is attempt to better the story.

“Wow so you met the prime minister of Singapore at the luncheon? Not bad. Did I tell you all about the time I drank margaritas until dawn with Bill Clinton and Lady Gaga?”

If someone spotted a koala in a tree while hiking, the story beater wandered into a pride of lions while hiking. And the lions befriended him and ate from his hands.

If you just recovered from pneumonia, they’re bouncing back from leprosy.

Here’s a picture of my baby – adorable right?

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

Your new baby has transformed your world. A delightful little bundle of joy that you dedicate every hour of the day towards. And so you should.

Maybe even share this joy with others, whether they ask to see a picture or not.

Woah, hold your horses….

Of course everybody is happy for you and agree that baby is a darling. However to show someone baby pictures without being asked is really saying, “Start giving compliments please.”

The pressure. While this is effortless for some, others struggle to come up with anything other than, “Nice – it has your eyes”.

Best to silently bask in the knowledge that your baby is the cutest in the world and if others want proof, well they’ll ask.

Thanks for inviting us, I’ll just collect my leftover drinks to take home

Photo by Dave Lastovskiy on Unsplash

Unbelievable that some people don’t know this. Put it down to ignorance or plain rudeness but it’s poor form.

When someone has graciously invited you over for a meal or barbecue or whatever, it goes without saying that you should take something. Preferably drinks, maybe a bottle of wine or some beer. A cake even.

The host has cleaned their house beforehand, set everything up and they’ve hopefully ensured fun was had by all. Plus they’ll have to clean up afterwards.

So here’s a sure-fire way to guarantee you won’t ever be asked back again.

Arrive with a cheap 6 pack or bottle of wine, making sure everyone knows you brought something.

Then proceed to fill up on whatever classy beverages your host and dear friends have provided.

Another Schneider Weisse beer? They cost $45 a 6 pack, right? Don’t mind if I do!

Glug, glug.

Is that a Grenache Shriaz? Always wondered what it was like, let’s open her up!

Gulp, gulp.

So when it’s time to go, you should leave, but your leftover (and probably untouched) drinks should stay.

Think of it as a small thank-you to the host. Think of it as not being a tight arse.

Just think of it.

Of course in the grand scheme of things, these little faux pas are hardly the end of the world. We live in challenging times and should simply be nice to each other.

However by following these unwritten social do’s and don’ts you’ll be doing your bit towards maintaining the social order.

2 Comments

  1. This one made me chuckle AND cringe thinking of all those situations I have found myself in.
    Re the baby photos: Instantly thought of THAT Seinfeld episode! it’s the same with doggie pics too & although needy people need dogs not everyone wants to see pics nor hear about their cute antics eh?!

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