A great thing about humans is they’re always looking to improve. At least sometimes, anyway.
What could be done better? What make life easier or less…annoying?
From major workplace changes to tweaking sports rules here are some ideas we’d like to see become a reality.
The sooner the better, quite frankly.
1: Let there be noise
Fans pay damn good money for their tickets. Professional athletes are paid damn good money.
Therefore within reason fans should be allowed to make as much noise as they damn well want.
Insults, inappropriate comments and streaking are obviously not on but otherwise go for your life.
Actually streaking doesn’t technically hurt anyone, but that’s for another discussion.
Why should precious tennis and golf players get absolute silence to play their shots? Fans are booted out of Wimbledon for daring to blow their nose during a millionaire’s serve. What makes them so sacred?
Visiting basketball players have to endure deafening jeers from home fans for a free throw. The noise is up there with Beatles concerts in the early 60s.
Rugby players often have to attempt conversion kicks from the sideline, only metres from high-spirited and well-lubricated fans offering free and colourful advice.
Baseball, soccer/football, cricket….even darts – they all just get on with it and play.
2: The Four day working week – which one?
Okay this is hardly a surprise – we want more days off.
When the Four day week is proposed people overwhelmingly nod eagerly and start clapping.
We will most likely have to work longer days to compensate but if our salary is the same most of us just have one question:
“When can we start?”
A light starts flashing inside the head, “Three days off, three days off…”
Which leaves just one question. Which would you prefer?
Two days on, one day off, two days on then the weekend.
Four days on and a three day weekend?
A deliciously tough decision to have to make. When surveyed in Japan recently it was almost a 50/50 split.
“I want to enjoy a long weekend break – I can go away more and travel!”
“Breaking up the week on Wednesday sounds awesome!”
Personally I’m in favor of the mid-week break. That makes Tuesday another Friday. Two Fridays a week? Sold.
3: Disciplining stranger’s kids
This may be a controversial one so we’ll hide it in the middle just to be safer.
Disciplining someone else’s kids, or more accurately – brats. We’ve all thought about it. That child needs a long overdue boot up the backside. At the very least a strict talking to.
This is especially frustrating if it’s not your offspring, as you realize it’s unlikely to happen – necessary as it may be.
However scolding someone else’s child is a cardinal sin, a real social no-no. Up there with kissing someone’s wife on first meeting or failing to acknowledge a driver who’s let you go first in a narrow street.
However when you see young Zakkary writhing around screaming on the supermarket floor, snatching a toy from another kid or just being a general spoiled little turd it does make you think.
Specifically – that maybe it’s time everyone was allowed to hand out scoldings when deserved. If the parents aren’t up for the job then we’ll do it.
“Listen Glorianna – give that book back to Rose right now and WAKE UP TO YOURSELF!”
Ah, that’s better. Unless of course, our child is the one in question.
Then it’s just awkward.
4: Shorts for men at work
Give the knees some breeze. Who dictates that men can only wear long pants at work?
Boooo! Not someone I want to know.
Rules regarding workplace (read offices) attire has allegedly mellowed over the years with many companies favoring a “smart casual” dress code. This basically just eliminates the need for the despised tie and little else.
Women have the luxury of being able to choose between either a skirt or slacks of some kind whereas men are stuck with pants. Believe us girls, what we’d we give to have that luxury of choice.
It’s a no-brainer that a comfortably dressed worker is a happier and therefore more productive worker. Common sense, really.
Obviously there are some coordination details to settle on but minor details. Long socks and sandals with shorts are under no circumstances acceptable, but surely a smart pair of loafers or whatever, plus a tidy shirt should do nicely.
And if it doesn’t then bad luck, people will just have to get used to it. Just as we did with ties, which must have seemed like a stupid idea at the time. And still is, to be honest.
5: Feedback for parking officers
You park in a 15 minute zone and desperately try to get to the pharmacy and back in time. It’s bucketing down rain and you’re holding an infant in each arm. You get the painkillers for your aunt who’s recovering from brain surgery then make it back to the car in 16 minutes.
Sure enough, you spot one of them. Walking away from your car, pocketing their ticket book. Resplendent in their uniform, a smug spring in their step.
A brand new parking ticket lies waiting under your wipers.
It takes a special kind of person to become a parking officer. The hard-to-like kind, basically.
The kind that tattled to the teacher about Mia dozing during class, even if Mia did have pneumonia. The kind that makes a noise complaint to police after a family is celebrating their father coming out of a 10 year coma.
Rules are rules, after all.
It seems only fair that the general public has the opportunity to provide regular and constructive feedback to these hard-working bearers of bad will. At any time.
Why not display parking officers’ names, addresses, emails and phone numbers on each ticket?
This allows anybody who receives a ticket to be able to express their opinion on the officer’s performance whenever they desire. 24/7.
These are just tiny tweaks that can be implemented today. On the surface there may seem to be more pressing matters at hand but we have to start somewhere. And once these changes are up and running we’ll look back, chuckle and think “Life is so good right now. How did we ever live like that before?”